


Mistakes of a Rock Star

by penguinloser182



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-25 14:26:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,518
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9824480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/penguinloser182/pseuds/penguinloser182
Summary: this is an AU about Jensen Ackles being a rock star instead of an amazing actor. I hope you enjoy.When a photographer is hired to help clean up the image of Jensen Ackles the working relationship is rocky at best. Neither she nor the rock star want to work together. But when Jensen starts to let her into his life, she realizes there is more to him than he even knows.





	1. Chapter 1

I could feel the music reverberating in my chest. My heart beating in time with the rhythm around me. The rush of the crowd was pulsing through me, the energy buzzing throughout the arena. You could feel the liveliness and the adrenaline pumping through everyone. I pushed past security guards and crowd surfers who had made it to the front of the pit and safely placed to the ground. I snapped several shots of the crowd lost in the roar of the music. The language of music speaking to all of them. None of them walked the same paths but they all were lost in the music and for one moment in time they were all the same.  
I turned my attention back to the band on stage continuing the burst shots on my camera getting the best angle where I stood. Even though I had seen this band play life several times, and they happened to be one of my favorites, I tried hard not to get lost in the flow of the music. I had a job to do. I made my way to the other side of the stage before flashing my badge to the security guards and walking up on stage to try and take back ground shots. Stay out of sight but get the best images I can. It was difficult sometimes. But I was the best at what I did.  
I snuck behind the drummer, still unseen by the crowd, taking more photos of the band from behind. The night went by fairly quickly but then again they often did.  
I retreated to my own little spot in the venue packing up my gear for the night, tomorrow I would up load all the pictures and send them to the band. I waved to the crew stopping at the green room to thank the band for letting me be a part of their tour and made my way back to the hotel to pack and catch my flight back to Austin.

I guzzled my bottle of water while standing in line at the airport. Concerts always had a way of dehydrating you even if you weren’t in the pit. The adrenaline is what did it I deducted about it. I stretched slipping on my sunglasses when my phone rang. Turning off the music I was drowning in I answered the call.  
“hello?”  
“y/n y/l/n,” the voice responded.  
“Yeah?” I retorted a little more aggressively than I normally would have. It was very early and I was exhausted.  
“I’m Jared Padalecki.” He introduced himself.  
“Yeah and?” I snapped again as if I was supposed to know who he was. Still trying to listen to him I wedged my phone between my ear and shoulder as I stepped up to the boarding counter and retrieved my I.D from my bag, handing it to the boring lady behind the desk.  
“I’m the manager for a very successful artist,” he began to tell me.  
“Okay,” I stated slipping my phone back into my hand to better hear him.  
“I’ve seen your work, it’s astounding,” he complimented.  
“I’m about to board a plane to Austin what is it exactly you want from me?” I sighed trying to get the conversation ended as quickly as possible.  
“Austin, that’s perfect. I was wondering if you would be interested in meeting with me to discuss a possible job,” he told me.  
“I’m listening,” my interest was piqued.  
“Great, meet me at this address tomorrow, I’m texting you the location now,” he stated before ending the call.  
I let out a heavy sigh before turning my music back on, putting the phone on airplane mode and boarding.

I walked into the restaurant my eyes scanning the faces. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, I had no idea what the guy looked like. That’s when I spotted a very tall gentleman in a fancy suit glancing up from his phone waving me over. I let out a breath I had been holding and proceeded forward to greet him.  
I put on my best business face and shook his hand.  
“Please, sit,” he insisted pointing to the chair in front of him.  
“So why am I here?” I cut to the chase.  
“I’m glad you asked. As I said before I manage a very large name,”  
“I really don’t care about who it is. What’s the job?”  
He gave me a small sincere smile before adjusting his jacket.  
“Right now my client is kind of in a bind, and I need someone to do a candid photo shoot of him while he’s at home, on tour, everywhere. Just to show he’s not what everyone thinks.”  
“Okay, I give who is this guy?” I asked flopping back in my chair.  
“Jensen Ackles,” he finally answered. I choked on the water I had taken a sip of.  
“Nope no way,” I answered. “I’ve heard he’s difficult to work with,” I told him my worry.  
“That’s exactly why we need someone of your skill. That’s not who he is at all. The tabloids have ripped him apart and none of it is true.” Jared pleaded. “Please, will you do this?” crossing my arms in reserve I thought.  
“It will pay well,” Jared finally told me.  
“Fine, when do I start?” I caved.  
“Tomorrow morning,” he almost seemed giddy as he handed me yet another address.  
“Fun,” I replied sarcastically.

“Why would you do that?” Jensen yelled as they walked back stage toward the green room.  
“Jensen you need good publicity.” Jared reminded him as he slipped his phone into his suit pocket. Jensen clenched his jaw in a raw mood.  
“Fine,” he finally came around. “When do I get to meet this great photographer?” he commented snidely.  
“Today actually,” Jared informed him leading him to another area backstage.

I tucked my pink streaked hair behind my hair as I dug in my camera bag looking for the extra sd card I had stashed in it when I heard the voices above me. I stood smiling as I saw Jared. That’s when I saw him. His striking good looks. His nose a perfect straight line. His eyes seemed to shine the brightest green I had ever seen. His jaw was as if it was chiseled out of stone. I had never seen anyone so close to perfect. He was beautiful, then he spoke.  
“Hi, I’m really not looking for a new second rate photographer.” He stated.  
I didn’t take offense to it. I straightened my shoulders and stared him right in the eyes. Those beautiful green eyes.  
“I’m no second rate photographer, I’m the best there is. And if you don’t want that, then I can give my time and skills to someone else, someone who is actually good.” I remarked crossing my arms not moving my stance.  
Jared tried to choke back his laugh before slapping his client on the back.  
“She has spunk,” I heard him whisper. “Good luck. To both of you,” he stated turning to leave.  
Jensen was left staring at me for what seemed like a lifetime, before he gave me a sarcastic smirk and turned to leave me to what I had been doing.


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke the next morning with dread filling me. The first day hadn’t really been very successful in the first encounter with Jensen I hoped it would be better in the days to come. I didn’t want to dread the job more than I already did. I sighed as I packed up my bag to head to the venue for sound check.  
Jensen was late to rehearsal, this was going well already. How was I supposed to follow him around for candid photos if he couldn’t even show up to his job? I started off just snapping random pictures of the venue and the rest of the band. Twenty minutes later, Jensen arrived.  
I eyed him as he walked in with his sunglasses placed over his eyes. I almost growled as Jared showed up behind him.  
“Can I speak to you for a minute?” I quickly asked pulling him aside. I saw Jensen stop in his tracks as I pulled Jared away from him.  
“How am I expected to do my job?” I questioned glancing in Jensen’s direction.  
“I’m sorry,” he apologized on his client’s behalf.  
“Fuck that, if he can’t show up on time how am I supposed to take photos?” I snapped louder than I had intended. My jaw clenched as Jensen stepped up to us removing his glasses.  
“You got a problem?” He asked gruffly.  
“Yes, you.” I answered honestly.  
“Look guys we have a lot of time to work in and we need to get along,” Jared tried defusing the situation. My eyes darted to Jared then back to Jensen.  
“Do your damn job,” I told him. “Oh I do my job princess,” he sneered his eyes squinting at me. “Sure as hell could have fooled me,” I retorted looking him up and down. “Can’t even show up on time, party a little too hard with all the strippers?” I quipped with a snide smirk. “Oh I didn’t need strippers sweetheart, they willingly take their clothes off without me paying,” he insisted. “I’m sure they pay with the genital warts later,” I remarked. “Okay look this is what we are gonna do,” Jared intervened. “Y/n you are going to follow Jensen, be his shadow,” he began to explain. “Excuse me?” Jensen and I spoke in unison.  
“Look it’s the only way you’re gonna get those shots you want. Its just for a little while,” he assured us.  
“Perfect, fabulous.” Jensen commented seething with sarcasm.  
Jared stared at Jensen for a moment to let him know he was being serious. “Pack your gear up I’ll have a car take you to the hotel after the show,” Jared informed me before burying himself in his phone and walking off.  
“Great,” I mumbled. I turned to Jensen who was fuming.  
“Look you don’t like me, that’s fine. I don’t particularly care for you either, but I was hired to do a job, and the fact that you don’t like me will make it oh so much easier to be your shadow and capture you.” I told him.  
I could hear him growl turning his head to avoid looking at me.  
“You don’t have to like me but I’ll be damned if I let you fuck up my work,” I told him.  
He grunted once again before turning to walk off. I stood there unsure of what I should do next.  
“You coming or what?” He called to me in the deepest annoyed voices I had ever heard. Still unsure of what to do next I grabbed my gear to follow behind him.  
“Look just stay out of my way while I warm up,” he told me as he sat his starbucks cup down beside him and took his guitar. I didn’t even realize I had my camera at my eye, the shutter of the camera flying at every move he made.  
He warmed his voice up with vocal exercises like most musicians and I just ignored what was flowing from his vocal chords. I hadn’t really listened to his music so I wasn’t aware of the power he had. Even in those few warm ups I knew he was truly gifted. And the show that night showed me how much music flowed through his veins.

The screams of the crowd were almost deafening as he took the stage. He took his stance at the stage. He smiled against the microphone perfect, I got the shot. I continued to walk zooming in on his face just as he was opening his mouth to hit that first note. A chill ran down my back as the auditorium filled with his voice and the music. The cheers of the crowd in front of him grew louder than I had ever heard. He truly was gifted. And he connected to his audience. Still didn’t change he was a jerk, but he did have talent.  
I let myself ignore the noise around me as I continued to take pictures of him. He paused during of his songs to reach out and touch a fan in the front row. Before I missed the opportunity my finger hit the shutter button capturing the beautiful moment.

Following behind him as he walked off the stage wiping his face I sat down in the green room going through my photos I had taken. I smiled at my work.  
“Can I see?” he asked. Oh man there was a question. I didn’t normally let artist see their pictures before I had them uploaded. I sighed shrugging as I handed him my camera.  
He started shuffling through all the pictures I had managed to take. He didn’t say anything in regards to liking them or not liking them as he handed me the camera back.  
“Just so you know, don’t ask to look again,” I informed him. He grunted almost smirking.  
“That some kind of photographer rule.” He quipped.  
“No that’s a me rule, I don’t like showing off raw pictures,” I told him.  
“So you photoshop?” he asked taking a sip of his water.  
“No, I’m worried some idiot will ruin all my creativity.” I explained as I sat my camera into the carrying case. “Look I’ve had artists want to look at their pictures and at first I let them cause I was proud, but after some of the artists didn’t like the shots they decided to take action. I’ve had some shit clients delete my stuff because they didn’t like the light I portrayed them in. So as a creative rule I just don’t do it,” I explained looking up at him. He was staring at me as if he and I understood each other. He broke our gaze and nodded.  
“I can respect that,” he murmured.


	3. Chapter 3

I watched him as he stood up from the couch to replenish his water.   
“So what do you do after a show?” I asked placing my camera around my neck, putting the rest of my gear up. His shoulders shrugged before he turned to me to speak.  
“Could go get a drink,” he suggested.   
“Sure, why not?” I agreed.

The bar was a little more crowded than I would have liked it to have been but it seemed it put him at ease as he sat down at the bar to throw back a beer or two. His shoulders relaxed sitting the atmosphere. We didn’t talk, even if we had wanted to we wouldn’t have been able to hear each other over the horrible cover bands butchering the music.   
“I need some air,” I told him.   
“Who are you?” a voice shouted in rude tone grasping my shoulder. I turned to look at a brunette. She was actually quite stunning.  
“Why do you care?” I asked.  
“Cause that’s my boyfriend.” She informed me. “who are you?” she asked again.  
I looked for Jensen with no help.  
“Does it matter? I’m not after your boyfriend I work for him,” I explained as I tried to go back inside to sit back down in my seat. She spun me around catching my camera in her hand snapping the carrying strap. She flung it to the ground.  
Red filled me. “You bitch!” I shouted. Just as she was about to snap her hand was caught out of nowhere from behind me. Jensen.  
“You need to leave,” he insisted nodding to his security guard to escort her away from us.  
Anger began to rise up in me as I grabbed my camera from the ground piece by piece. Jensen bent to help me pick up all the fragments.  
“I’m sorry,” he apologized.  
“You have that happen a lot?” I asked trying not to let the anger come through.  
“What crazy chicks?” He smirked.  
“Crazy girlfriends.”  
“She’s not my girlfriend. Never has been. She’s just a crazy stalker fan who think we are dating,” he told me handing me the pieces of my camera.  
“Luckily all my photos from tonight were on a different SD card,” I tried to stay positive.  
“I’m really sorry,” he apologized again.  
“It’s okay.” I lied. Now I had to go find a camera store and purchase a new one tomorrow.  
“I think I’m just gonna go back to the hotel,” I told him as I hailed a cab.

The thought of no longer having a camera didn’t hit hard until the next day when I woke up. I got out of bed and dressed before trying to find a store of any kind that sold quality cameras. I opened my room door to find a package sitting in the doorstep. My forehead scrunched in thought as I bent to pick up the item  
“I am sorry about last night. I hope this is okay, - Jensen,” part of me smiled the other part angered me how dare he do that. I was able to do things on my own.

I marched into studio finding Jensen alone staring at a pad of paper a pen bouncing against the side of his temple in thought.  
“How dare you,” I shouted shoving the box into this stomach.  
“I’m capable of purchasing my own things,” I told him.  
“I’m aware of that,” he frowned.  
“So why? Were you afraid I’d tell people you’re an asshole?” I challenged. Jensen staring me dead in my eyes stood up.  
“I felt bad that she broke your camera, I was doing you a favor. You have a job to do, don’t you need a camera being a photographer? Look use it or don’t, I honestly don’t care. I was just trying to do you a favor and be nice,” he argued.  
“Well don’t do me any damn favors okay?” I snapped walking off. I stopped in my tracks realizing that arguing had still left me with no camera to do my job. I turned around to look at him.  
“Don’t think I’m taking this as you’ve won this,” I informed him as I picked the camera back up. I could see him smile in victory as I walked away.  
“Wipe that stupid smirk off your face,” I shouted behind him. I wasn’t sure why I was being so difficult. It was a nice gesture so why was I being so difficult about it.

For only knowing him for a few days he sure knew a lot about my equipment. He had purchased almost an exact replica of the camera I had. As Jensen sat plunking on his guitar trying to get inspired I took a few random shots.  
“So what got you into photography?” He asked stopping what he was doing to look at me.  
I shrugged. “It was kind of a hobby of my dad’s, I begged him to get me a camera every day for months. Then finally he caved and gave me an old one of his. He said if you can learn how to use this and take flawless pics I’ll buy you a better camera. I had him dropping off film almost every day for months. Until finally when I was 12 for my birthday he bought me a Canon EOS 55 and I took it everywhere with me.” I told him. “He thought I’d be like a nature photographer, then I discovered rock music and I told him I was gonna tour with bands and he said sure honey whatever you say,” I smiled at the thought of my dad telling me that.   
“I’m sure he’s proud,” Jensen said.  
“He didn’t get to see me become a professional,” I stated with sadness. “He died a few days before my 21st birthday.”  
“Shit, I’m sorry.” I shook my head.  
“Its fine you didn’t know,” I reassured him. Awkward silence fell over us for a moment before he put his guitar down.  
“Well, I’m starving,” he expressed standing and patting his stomach.  
“Is it safe to take my camera?” I joked.  
“I’ll try to keep the fan girls at bay,” he teased.  
“Yeah you did an awesome job of that last night,” I teased back.


	4. Chapter 4

Sitting down at the restaurant I sat my camera down beside me as he quickly ordered what he wanted without looking at the menu. The waiter took my drink order waiting patiently for me to tell him what I wanted to eat with just as much speed.   
“I’ll just have the same,” I told him looking over at Jensen who was chowing down on the bread in front of him.  
“So, you’ve heard some about me, so what about you?” I tried striking up conversation.  
He shrugged taking a sip of the water the waiter had brought.  
“Nothing really to tell,” he stated.  
“There has to be something in that brain of yours you wanna tell.” I decided. He shook his head.  
“What’s with all the questions anyway? I thought you were a photographer not a journalist,” he pointed out.  
“Just curious about the person I’m taking so many pictures of.” I admitted.   
He sighed staring at me for a few seconds. “Started playing the guitar to get girls, next thing I know I loved it.” He informed me.  
“The classic rock star thing to say,” I quipped.  
I saw a smirk slowly appear on his face. “Oh so he does smile,” I stated as I snapped a side picture of him smiling.  
“Honestly the attention is hard,” he confessed his smile fading. “I feel trapped most days,” he told me.  
“That’s gotta be hard,” I sympathized.  
“I can’t even write any more,” He admitted. “And I have no idea why I told you that,” he said as an afterthought.  
“We will keep that between us,” I assured him as I sat my camera back down.  
“So are you looking forward to having some time off?” I asked him as I dove into the burgers they finally brought us.  
Jensen looked up from taking a huge bite nodding before giving me a thumbs up. I chuckled a little as he grunted his approval for the food.  
“Yeah I think I’m gonna go see my sister at the ranch,” once his mouth wasn’t full of food, he spoke.  
“That sounds fun,” I told him as I took a bite of my own burger.  
“Jared already made all of your arrangements,” he explained not looking up.  
“Wait, I’m coming too? Thought I was only touring shows and a few photos while on tour,” I said.  
“He feels like you should get shots of me while I’m at home out of the “spotlight”,” He responded using quotation marks around spotlight with sarcasm.  
“Seems fair I guess,” I decided. “When are we going?”  
“Few days,” he answered swallowing the last of his burger.


	5. Chapter 5

Packing for a place I had never been to, was difficult. I didn’t know exactly what to expect so I basically threw whatever was in my tour bag into a suitcase. Without fail Jensen was there to pick me up.  
“Wait you’re driving?” I questioned shocked when he stepped out of the driver side door to open the hatch of the SUV.  
He smiled his half smile which was starting to really unravel me. He took my suitcase and shoved it inside.  
“Yeah,” he finally answered when we hit the road. “Sometimes driving makes me feel normal,” He told me.  
“You aren’t normal?” I asked snapping photos.  
“Sometimes I don’t feel like I am,” He answered honestly his attention back on the road. We drove in silence most of the trip. Every now and then Jensen would sing along with the radio, which I had to admit was rather adorable.   
Sometime about midafternoon Jensen pulled down a dirt road.  
“Where are we?” I asked.  
“Not far,” he answered.  
“That’s not an answer.” I told him.  
He chuckled. “We are almost there I can’t tell you, you might blab,” he joked.  
“I’m under contract I can’t blab.” I reminded him. “You’re taking me off somewhere to kill me aren’t you?” I only half joked. He burst out laughing.  
“No,” he assured me. Before he could say any more my attention diverted to a row of fences with a few horses behind them. There was a huge ranch house directly in front of us.  
“Home,” He stated as he stopped the vehicle and got out. I was in awe as I stepped from the SUV. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. A lazy large mutt of a dog thumped its tail on the porch as Jensen walked up onto the porch with our bags. Unsure of what else to do I followed.  
“Where’s my beautiful little sister?” he called as we entered the kitchen a short dark haired girl threw her arms around him.  
“y/n this is my sister Genevieve,” he introduced pulling away from the girl. I took her hand and shook it. Out of nowhere came Jared. I must have had a puzzled look on my face when I saw him.   
“You know Jared already, he’s Gen’s husband,” Jensen explained. With loud yells two rambunctious boys came bounding toward Jensen.  
“Uncle J!” they both called and Jensen obliged by picking them up and hugging them both.  
“Tom, Shep,” Jensen greeted them both as he carried them off.  
“I hope you guys are hungry,” Gen said.   
“She’s been cooking all day,” Jared praised as he handed Jensen a bottle of beer.  
“Starving,” I answered.   
After a fabulous meal Jensen took the two boys into the living room to play with them while I helped clean up.  
“He’s really good with them,” I pointed out. These were the shots I needed. I excused myself as I grabbed my camera to take pictures of him unaware of what I was intending. Jensen was down in the floor pretending to be some kind of dinosaur as the boys were attacking him. I took as many shots as I could before Jared announced they were leaving. The boys, including Jensen whined as they stood up.  
“The boys can stay if they want,” Jensen stated.  
“Nah, you need to relax,” Gen insisted as she gave her brother a hug and kissed his cheek smiling a strange smile at me.  
“It was nice to meet you,” she said.  
“Nice meeting you as well,” I agreed as they exited the house.  
“Well I guess we should get you settled into your room,” Jensen pointed out. I followed him down the hall through the living room where three bedrooms sat.  
“The bathroom is across the hall and my room is on the very end,” he told me as he stood in the doorway. He stared at me for a moment before turning to leave. I sighed taking in the room. It was large with a four post wooden bed. The ceiling was high and arched. And the whole room had been made as if it were a log cabin. I dove onto the bed falling asleep instantly.

I awoke to the sound of Jensen’s voice in the kitchen and the smell of bacon rising throughout the house. I grabbed my camera exiting the room trying to be ninja like as I snapped photos of him bare chested singing and cooking. There was more to this man than I thought there was. He could cook.  
“You hungry?” He asked once I broke the incognito act and sat down at the kitchen island.  
“Sure, I could eat,” I answered as he sat a plate in front of me. I could see all the details in his chest and arms. His back rippled muscle. I took in a deep breath as he turned to put a black t-shirt on. His biceps pushing at the seams of his shirt. I tried not to make it too obvious I had been looking, but I was only human. It had been too long.  
“I’m gonna go get a shower,” I informed him. “Then you can show me around.” I added. 

The bathroom had a huge claw foot tub, and the desire to try it out was too much. I undressed as the tub filled with water. Stepping into the water I found myself lost in daydreams. The thought of getting caught was all I could think of as my hand slipped under the water and between my legs. My other hand grazing my nipples as I found myself wanting it to be Jensen doing the touching. I didn’t know, nor did I care if he could hear me as I brought myself to climax.   
I sat in the tub only a few moments after before standing up to actually shower. When I exited the bathroom Jensen was nowhere in sight. I called for him with no answer.  
I shrugged deciding I would just explore on my own. Connecting to the house was a large home studio. I called out for him with still no answer.  
“Jensen!” I called as I entered through the rehearsal studio door. I turned the corner to see no one was in the room. Biting my lower lip I looked around the equipment in the room. Glancing over my shoulder to make sure the coast was clear I tiptoed toward the electric guitar in front of a chair. I sighed as I picked the Gibson up and sat down placing it in my lap. It felt like an old friend as I grazed the strings smiling. I began to strum a familiar chord and began to hum. Before I knew it I was losing myself in the song singing at the top of my lungs.  
Jensen stopped when he realized where the music and vocals were coming from. He halted at the door as he listened to the voice of a female. He didn’t know any other musicians were using his studio but he had to know who was singing. He opened the door as quietly as he could. He turned the corner to see y/n sitting there. Stunned he stared as she played the guitar and sang one of his songs. He tried to move quietly so he wouldn’t disrupt her but he tripped causing her to snap out of her trance. She jumped at the sound turning to see him standing up.  
“You can sing?” He blurted out.  
“Oh man, I am so sorry I had no right to touch your stuff,” I apologized quickly setting his instrument down and proceeding to walk out.  
“No, wait,” he tried to stop me but I had already moved too far past him to grasp my arm.  
“I better go, I have some shots to publish,” I insisted calling back to him. How could I have been so stupid to let my guard down to sing in front of anyone? Let alone Jensen Ackles. I shook my head in aggravation as I went to the room I had set up my photo studio to drown myself in my work. I had to stop thinking about it.  
“So when were you going to tell me about that?” I heard a voice say. I looked up from my laptop to see Jensen standing in my doorway.  
“Nothing to tell,” I stated trying to get out of the conversation.  
“But you can sing,” he replied.  
“And so can you, can we move on?” I asked looking back down at the laptop.  
“No,” he simply stated.  
“Look it’s not a big deal,” I tried to reason with him. “Lots of people can sing,” I told him. Which was true. “Its not something I talk about.”  
“This conversation isn’t over,” he informed me as his attention turned to the dog barking.  
I jumped up from where I was sitting curious as well.  
“Shit,” he muttered as he saw that same girl from the bar walking up the pathway to the house.  
“How did she know where to find you?” I asked.  
“She’s a stalker,” Jensen reminded me.   
I stormed out the door. I had unfinished business. Before I could be stopped I was off the porch and my fist had made contact with her face.  
“That’s for my camera,” I shouted as I stepped away from her. Stunned she stood up unsure of what had just happened. Jensen was on the porch with his phone when his body guard came from the back of the house escorting her to his vehicle to take her to what I assumed was the cops. Walking onto the porch we exchanged glances between each other. I wasn’t sure if it was the adrenaline or the fact that I had been thinking about him all day but his mouth looked so inviting. I licked my lips trying not to make it obvious that he was getting to me. He was Jensen Ackles for crying out loud. I didn’t stand a chance.   
I broke the glance from him and walked back inside the house. Why did he have to be so damn beautiful?


	6. Chapter 6

The next day as I played with my camera and Jensen sat plunking on his guitar his phone rang.  
“Hey man,” Jensen answered. “Oh, shit I forgot. Yeah I’ll be there,” Jensen told whoever was the on the phone. His attention turned to me.  
“Looks like we are going to a small local show,” he told me. “I’ve got some meet and greets and stuff to do,” he further explained.  
“You seem happy about that,” I noted.  
“I like smaller crowds, it’s more intimate. Reminds me of when I first started.” He told me as he stood to go change out of his off stage clothes. When he emerged from his room he had changed into black skinny jeans, boots, and a black v neck. A gasp caught in my throat as I stood up slowly. A honk came from outside.  
“Our ride,” he informed me with a smirk indicating I lead the way. Grabbing my stuff I headed out the door.

He smiled as little kids approached him and he signed his name to items. He seemed interested in what people said to him and he posed like a king. Smiling at the compliments people gave him and laughing at jokes and stories being told. All the while I was in the background snapping pictures of the whole shindig.   
“Hey,” he’d greet. Or give a hug or a high five. He’d hug a crying fangirl who would tell him how much they adored him and how his music pulled them out of darkness. And he was gracious enough to always say thank you for that.  
“So what gives?” I asked once the show was over and he had done his job.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You have a rep of being hard to work with and being a royal dick,” I just threw out.  
He sighed. “Sometimes “rock stars” make mistakes too,” he mumbled.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“It means I’ve done and said things I’m not proud of in my career. But that’s not who I am,” he almost seemed to promising.  
“Like what?” I asked intrigued.  
“Just drop it,” he said.  
“It can’t be that bad,” I insisted.  
“It’s none of your business,” he snapped.  
“Whoa touchy aren’t you?” He glared at me turning his attention to directly in front of him.

The next morning I tried to defuse the tension that was still between us.  
His phone was lying on the kitchen island beside me when it made a noise and I glanced at it.  
“What the hell?” I teased as I looked at the screen light up.  
“What?” He asked seeing I was now holding his phone.  
“You’re on a dating website?” I began to laugh. “Who the hell is Dean Winchester?” I chuckled. Trying to keep his phone away from him.  
“It’s a cover I thought it would be a good alias,” he told me. I looked at him then his phone and the ridiculous name.  
“Yeah I don’t see it,” I told him as he finally snatched the phone from me.  
“Why do you need a dating app anyway?”  
He sighed heavily putting his phone in his pocket.   
“You’re Jensen Ackles, it’s not like you can’t get a girl,” I pointed out.  
“It’s hard to date when you’re the center of attention.” He explained.  
“Really and a whack name like Dean Winchester isn’t screaming fake? Come on man you have a one of a kind face, anyone who sees that and hasn’t been under a rock in the past ten years is gonna know it’s you,” I pointed out. He rolled his eyes shoving his phone in his pocket.  
“What? It’s true,” I pointed out again.  
“Well real girls who are interested in me, and not the rock star are hard to come by,” he stated bitterly.  
“Well if it makes you feel any better I could have cared less who you were. Still don’t,” I jabbed.  
“Gee thanks,” he murmured. His attention was diverted to a knock on the back door.   
“Yeah,” he called. “It’s open.”  
Immediately the two young boys of Genevieve and Jared came bounding in attacking Jensen. Jensen pretending that they were too strong and he went to his knees letting them pretend to beat him up. I couldn’t help but smile at him. Jensen acted as if he died and then suddenly jumped up and grabbed them both in a huge bear hug.  
“Hey thanks for watching them for us for a little while,” Gen thanked. With the oldest Tom planted firmly over his shoulder and the other under his arm he smiled.  
“No problem sis,” he smirked setting them down letting them go to their appointed room.  
“Hey, we got some business to discuss later,” Jared informed him as he hugged him.  
“Yeah sure,” Jensen agreed as they began to exit the house.  
“Now, the fun begins,” Jensen stated as he marched towards the boys who had come out of the room to watch their parents leave. Squeals of delight escaped their vocal chords as they ran from Jensen.   
I snuck toward the room with my camera as he was in the floor playing with army men and Legos in the floor. Helping them build some sort of fort for all their little green men. There was more to him than just a rock star. He seemed as if he needed something in his life. It pained me to watch. I could almost imagine him as a father playing with his own kids. I just hoped he found what he was missing.  
When all grew quieter in the day I decided I needed to check up on them, make sure they hadn’t tied Jensen up and were trying to scalp him. The room was a mess and in the abyss of all the crazy Jensen was passed out with both of the boys in his arms. Without a second thought I took the picture. I guess the shutter had woke him up when his one eye opened slowly glancing around the room, he slipped from the slumbering children and tiptoeing out.  
“You’re good with them,” I stated as he closed the door quietly.  
“Thanks,” he almost blushed.  
“Hey guys we’re back,” a voice boomed throughout the house. Jared. He smiled when he saw Jensen give him a finger to his lips.  
“Right, sorry. Got a minute,” he whispered as Gen snuck by to get her kids together.  
“Yeah, what’s up?” Jensen said.  
I couldn’t make out exactly what was being said but I could tell by Jensen’s expression he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to do whatever he was being asked. In the end he nodded with a smile. Gen came out holding Tom’s hand and holding Shep in her arms.  
“Ready babe?” she addressed Jared before Jensen gave her and the boys a quick hug. Jared nodded with his huge smile taking Shep from Gen.   
Jensen sighed as he closed the door behind them before looking in my direction.  
“Wanna do a charity event?” I knew that was a rhetorical question, it was clear I had to go with my camera, so I simply nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

“Umm what are you wearing?” Jensen commented as I stood up in my skinny jeans and sneakers. My breath almost taken from my lungs staring at Jensen in his tuxedo that seemed to fit perfect in all the right places. Did it suddenly get hot in the room?  
“Um clothes,” I replied looking down at the outfit I had on trying to play it cool in front of him.  
“Oh no, we are going to a charity event, not a concert,” he informed me.  
“Okay, and I’m the photographer, not a guest,” I added.  
Jensen pulled his phone from his tux pocket and dialed a number.  
“Hey yeah I need a dress,”  
I made a disgusted face crossing my arms.  
Within a few minutes Gen was at the door with several garment bags and shoes.  
“I hate you,” I sneered as Gen lead me back to the other room. A smile of satisfaction spread across his face as I was escorted out.

I found a red knee high dress that flowed at the bottom and clung to my breast. The dress fit snug on my shoulders with lace wide straps. Much to my discomfort Gen gave me a pair of bright red velvet strapped shoes.  
“Can I do your make up?” she asked. “I’m always surrounded by boys,” she almost pleaded. I shrugged not really knowing what I was supposed to do with make up anyway.

Sighing to myself I heard Gen call my name. Jensen’s lips parted in surprise as I stepped into the room trying to be courageous and self-confident as I could.  
“What do you think?” Gen asked elbowing her brother in the stomach.  
“I. uh. Yeah. Looks good,” he stumbled over his words.  
“Ready to go?” I asked trying to take his mind off looking the way he was.

We arrived at the hotel in style. Jensen held his hand out as I exited the limo he had us in.  
“No,” he whispered as I went for my camera.  
“Tonight we don’t do pictures,” he told me. I looked at him confused.  
“This is for charity, we don’t publicize it,” he insisted as I let my camera go. I nodded gently as I laced my arm through his arm.  
“So what do I do then?” I whispered to him as lights flashed around me. A bizarre spectacle for me.  
“Just relax and talk to people,” he answered smiling and waving at people. Once inside we sat down to eat.  
To be honest I couldn’t even tell you what was happening around us except people talking about the importance of the cause. Which I didn’t even realize it was for Down Syndrome until much later into the evening.  
Jensen shook hands and greeted everyone with grace and charm. I watched as he handed money over without a second’s thought before we sat back down to finish our meal.  
“Come on let’s dance, you look bored,” he stated.  
“Overwhelmed,” I corrected. He took my hand and headed to the dance floor. He smiled down at me as he took me in his arms beginning to dance with the music.  
“You look very beautiful,” he complimented with a smile.  
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I complimented back. Immediately regretting how lamed it sounded. He always looked amazing. But he looked astounding at the event.  
“Although I think red is a better color for you,” I told him remembering the red button up shirt he always wore.  
“I think red is an amazing color,” he cooed as he looked at my dress, causing a flush of pink to go across my cheeks.   
The music had stopped and people began to clap warmly around us as the band finished their set, Jensen and I hadn’t moved from staring at each other. I didn’t know what was happening at that moment. I swallowed hard as I pulled from his arms.


	8. Chapter 8

The next day I let Jensen listen to me play. It was something I hadn’t done in years. He seemed lost in the music. Like he was being comforted by an old friend as I sang a pop song I had heard on the radio. He smiled at me as I sat the guitar down. That’s when I noticed he had been playing with my camera.  
“What are you doing?” I asked with curiosity.  
“You should think of being on the other end of the camera,” he informed me.  
“That’s easy for you to say the camera loves you,” I pointed out as I took my camera from his hands and sat it down.  
“You’re not the only one who knows their way around a camera,” he announced. I raised my eyebrow at his comment. Not bothering to look into it any more.  
“Come on I’ve got some stuff to show you,” He changed the subject as he stood to exit the studio.  
“I’ve been meaning to show you around here,” he said as we entered a barn. I had been so wrapped up in work I hadn’t even noticed that there had been a barn on the other side of the house.  
“Ever been on a horse?” he asked. I smirked.   
“One or two of them,” I said slyly.  
Once he saddled up the horses I slipped into the saddle with ease.  
“That’s pretty good,” he praised as he got onto his horse. I turned the horse without a single issue and ran a circle around him.  
“One or two huh?” he questioned. I shrugged shyly.   
“Did I forget to mention my dad used to be a photograph for horse shows, and that I was part of 50% of them?” Jensen smirked his sideways grin shaking his head.

“So what’s your deal?” He asked as we started riding down a trail.  
“What do you mean?”  
“You can sing, and you don’t,” he inquired.  
“Singing was something my mom did, she left my dad and me to try and make it big. I was six never heard from her again. When I found out I had the ability it made me curious, I learned to play guitar and things, but I didn’t want to be my mom. Not at all. She broke my dad and I couldn’t do the same so I took to my second love, which turns out was amazing. I like being behind the lens and not in front of it,” I admitted.  
“Damn shame,” I thought I heard him mumble.  
“So what about you?” I could see him grow uncomfortable.  
“What about me?” he looked down at the ground never making eye contact with me.  
“Look I’ve shared all kinds of things so what are you not telling me Ackles,”   
“I’m not who everyone makes me out to be,” he whispered.   
“Never said or thought you were,” I told him. “So what’s so bad you need pictures to improve your image?”  
“When I got a name for myself a lot of rumors flew around that I was a play boy and that I liked to party all the time. The rumor stuck pretty hard.”  
“So what’s so bad about that? Every musician has that image.”  
“Not what I wanted for my name, yeah it helped some for publicity, but then every time I would get an interview or paparazzi would approach things would always go bad. My manager at the time insisted I keep it up. That the negative was better than no publicity. So I kept it up. It started to make me really question who I was. Jared, who was a manager for some other acts at the time, pulled me aside and asked me what the hell I was doing. It wasn’t me. I was starting to make Gen and my folks pretty upset reading the things that were being printed. I was becoming someone I wasn’t and I didn’t like it. So I fired my other manager and hired Jared. He wanted to make me who I was again. Make it about the music again. And that’s what he’s been doing for a while now,” he confirmed.  
“That’s not really that bad.”  
“It was bad. I said horrible things to fans, I said horrible things to people who helped. I don’t even know how they stayed behind me and supported me. I was in a bad place and I won’t let that happen again.”  
“Come on I’ll race you,” I said tapping the horse gently with my heels. Jensen took off not far behind me.   
Once we stopped back at the barn we were both laughing so hard we couldn’t stop.  
“Thanks, I needed that,” he confessed as we slid from the horses and began to untack them.

That night Jensen made a fire in the pit behind the house getting us beer and marshmallows. I couldn’t help but smile at the combination.  
“Nice,” I affirmed as I took both of the items.  
“I’m not sure why I told you all that,” he spoke looking into the fire.  
“Maybe you needed to,” I pointed out taking a sip of the beer. Jensen nodded softly. We both stared into the stars above us.  
“I love the stars. Nothing more beautiful,” I stated. I almost felt Jensen staring at me as I spoke but I brushed it off as I looked down into the fire.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has smut! Reader be ware

The way the fire light hit his face was almost as if he was glowing as he picked up his guitar and began to sing. It was a candid moment I had to capture, it was after all my job to do. I smiled at him as he gave me a smirk licking his lips before opening his mouth to sing. He began to strum a soft melody I hadn’t heard before humming to himself.  
He stopped after a few bars looking over at me. “You’re writing again?” I asked looking through my camera.  
“Yeah, something like that,” he murmured almost shyly. His eyes never moved from mine.  
“We better head back inside,” he stated with seriousness as he put his guitar down. I nodded.

The next day he began to avoid me. I would try to take photos and he would disappear to where I couldn’t find him. After what seemed like forever I finally caught up with him late into the evening.  
“Where have you been?” I demanded. “I thought we had fun, that we were starting to, actually I dunno not hate each other,” I ordered.  
“It’s not important.”  
“Excuse me?” I questioned.  
“Look last night was fun, a lot of fun. More fun than I’ve had in a long time.”  
“Okay and?”  
“You’re in the way,” he blurted out.  
“I’m sorry what?” I said with offense.  
“You’re distracting me from work,” he admitted. “Maybe someone else can do the pictures,” he insisted.  
“You’re not gonna find another photographer half as good as me. That’s not ego, that’s a damn fact,” I told him.  
“Oh my god it has nothing to do with your talent, or your abilities to do the job,” he grunted turning to look at me.  
“Then what the hell are you talking about?” I was still unsure of what he was talking about. “I told you that being here I wouldn’t get in the way, and I’ve stuck to that. You haven’t had to see me or hear me, and I’ve done a fucking fantastic job,” I defended. Before I could say another word he grabbed my face and kissed me with so much passion I almost passed out. I returned the kiss with just as much fire. My hands found his shirt pulling it over his head exposing his bare chest.  
The hunger for him began to grow as he stripped off my tee shirt his mouth plunging to the swell of my breast I groaned throwing my head back as his mouth teased my nipple behind my bra. His mouth found mine again only this time he was slower as he lifted me to wrap my legs around his waist. His mouth drifted down my jawline leaving a hot trail of kisses along the base of my throat.  
“I want you so bad,” he murmured in my ear, and I could feel his growing erection behind his skinny jeans as I ran my hands through his hair. I’m not sure how we made it to the large king sized bed in the bedroom but he laid me down gently as he covered my mouth with his again.  
His fingertips grazed my breast before he gently pushed back the fabric and took my nipple between his teeth sucking gently. I whimpered as his fingers slipped under the other cup and massaged my other one. I moaned as he sucked harder the need rising in me. I lifted myself onto my elbows giving him easier access to remove my bra. His mouth found my other nipple giving it the same attention he had the other one.  
His hand slipped down my hips teasing the line of my jeans with his fingers. I gasped as he unbuttoned my jeans slipping the zipper down. He jerked my pants down his lips kissing my stomach and stopping above my panty line. I moaned as his fingers massaged the outside of my underwear gently. Another gasp escaped my lips as he let his fingers glide under the material slipping the skimpy lace underwear down my legs before gently entering me. His thumb circled my throbbing clit teasing it gently.  
“Oh god Jensen,” I moaned as he meticulously put his fingers in and out of me his thumb circling my clit. He stopped the in and out motion slipping his middle finger up giving the clit the most attention. I could feel the orgasm rise in my hips, the hairs on the back of my neck standing up as my cries grew louder.  
“OH fuck,” I cried out as I bucked against his hand. I didn’t want to give in to the climax as it grew. I fought it off not wanting to finish.  
“Don’t you dare hold back,” he mumbled as the motion increased.  
“Oh, yes, oh my, I’m gonna. Oh Jensen please don’t stop,” I cried as he continued. I felt the climax rise again in my hips and I let it go with a loud cry.  
I lay there briefly trying to think until the hunger to have him inside me took over and I pushed him to his back. I could see the bulge in his pants at full form as I pulled his jeans and boxer briefs off him.  
I took his large rock hard cock into my mouth, moving up and down slowly with both my hand and my mouth. I could feel his moan deep in this throat as I sped up the motion.  
“Y/n,” he groaned my name with pleasure his hand wrapping itself into my hair.  
“Don’t stop,” he told me as I looked up at him to see him bite his lower lip. I continued the motions a few more moments before sliding myself up onto him. His cock gliding ever so easily into my swollenness.  
“Fuck you feel so good,” he moaned as I began to rock back and forth on him. He grabbed the back of my neck pulling me down so our mouths could be tangled once again.  
He cried against my lips as I quickened my motions. “Shit,” he mumbled in bliss and his hands gripped my ass hurrying my thrusts.  
“You don’t hold back either,” I breathed.  
“Wait,” he paused. “In my jeans, get the condom out of my wallet,” he reminded me. I stopped getting up from him long enough to get the protection. I stroked him a few times wanting to touch myself as I did.  
“Holy fuck that’s hot,” he commented as I brought myself to another climax.  
“I need to fuck you right now,” He told me thrusting himself into me. I cried out in pleasure as he thrust into me hard and slow.  
“Oh yes! Jensen!” I cried out. “Don’t stop oh god please don’t stop,” I instructed pulling him closer to me my nails digging into his back. I could feel him shudder just as I did both of us yelling.  
Spent he rolled off of me staring at the ceiling.  
“Wow,” he breathed.  
“Yeah,” it was breath taking, the best sex I had probably ever had in my life I turned to look at him smiling. Instant regret filled me. His eyes were already closed and I could tell he was fast asleep.  
“Guess we both needed it.”  
I couldn’t sleep that night. I sat up grabbing my clothes sometime in the early morning. Jensen was fast asleep on his stomach. I bit my lower lip looking at him. I grabbed my camera and snapped the picture before collecting my things.  
“Hey,” a sleepy voice spoke. I turned to see Jensen stirring, the biggest smile I had ever seen on his face.  
“hey,” I tried to return the enthusiasm.  
“Where you going?” he asked adjusting the pillow.  
“I got some things to do,” which was half true.  
“Give me a few minutes and I’ll come too,” he told me.  
“No, it’s okay I gotta go back to the hotel and change before your show tonight,” I didn’t tell him then but I knew what was going to happen that night.  
“Mkay,” he smiled before shutting his eyes. “Be safe,” he told me.  
“yeah,” I croaked.

“Hey can we talk?” I asked Jared.  
“Sure what’s up?” he smirked his usual happy go lucky smile.  
“I can’t do this anymore,” I admitted.  
“What?” Jared said stunned.  
“I just can’t do this anymore,” I choked back  
“Did he say something?” Jared grew defensive.  
“No, nothing like that,” I tried to explain without explaining the real reason. I had crossed a line I should have never crossed, it was sex. I couldn’t make a big deal about it.  
“What?” I heard from over my shoulder. “You’re quitting?”  
Shit, Jensen.  
“Jared can you excuse us,” He asked which sounded more like a demand.  
I tried desperately not to look into his eyes as his facial expression changed from the happy image this morning to anger.  
“I knew there was something off about you this morning,” he addressed.  
“And how would you know,” I snapped.  
“Is this about last night?” he asked concerned.  
“No, of course not. It was sex, just really good sex,” I lied.  
“Just sex, then why are you running?” he pointed out.  
“I’m not running, I crossed a line, we both did. You are my client I can’t be mixing business and pleasure,” I told him.  
“You better have a better damn excuse,” he stated through gritted teeth.  
“Like what? I can’t do this anymore,” I told him trying to get away from him.  
“NO, you better think of something better than that.” He ordered.  
“What do you want from me Jensen?”  
“I thought I made that clear.”  
“What last night with sex? No, you didn’t. It was just that sex,” I lied again. I couldn’t let my guard down for anyone especially him.  
He looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. “Fine, you’re right it was just casual sex what did any of it matter,”  
“I’ll send you the pictures,” I told him as I turned away trying to hide the tears that were forming in my eyes.

Jensen watched as she left cursing to himself and running his hands through his hair. He walked off not sure what he was supposed to do.  
“What was that all about?” Jared asked concerned. Jensen’s eyes shot up to his brother in law and stared.  
“You slept together didn’t you?” He asked hoping he was wrong.  
Jensen stayed silent for a moment before sighing.  
“Get her back here,” he ordered stepping away from him.  
“Yeah that should be easy,” Jared stated with sarcasm.


	10. Chapter 10

I stared at the images on my laptop trying to hold back the emotions each picture had brought to me. Dammit I shouldn’t feel anything towards the pictures. It was a job. That’s all it had ever been but I screwed that all up with what happened. A loud knock came on the door jolting me from my thoughts. I slammed my laptop shut standing up to answer the door. Shit, Jared.  
“I got all the shots,” I told him as I let him inside.  
“You are under contract,” Jared reminded me.  
“Well then dock my pay or whatever,” I remarked handing him a stack of photos.  
“It’s not that simple, we need someone for his show tonight, and we can’t find a replacement that quick,” he told me.  
“What do you want me to do?” I pleaded.  
“Look whatever happened between you two, doesn’t matter,” Jared tried to reassure me.  
“Yes, it does,” I insisted as I sat down.  
“Look I’m not even asking you to talk to him. I just need you to wear your badge one more time and take these last concert photos,” he told me. I sighed. I had a job to finish as bad as I didn’t want to.  
“Fine,” I caved. He gave me his goofy puppy smile and walked out. What the hell was I thinking?

The lights dimmed and Jensen took the stage. I had no intentions of letting him know I was there. I flashed my badge to the security guard as he let me on the back side of the stage.  
“Hey,” He greeted the crowd with his guitar. “So I’m gonna try something new tonight,” he told the crowd. “I, ah, wrote a new song and wanted to try it out on you guys, what do you think?” The crowd erupted in loud cheers. I could feel him smile from the back of the stage.   
He sat on the stool that had been sitting in the middle of the stage adjusting the microphone on the stand. The same soft melody he had played at his ranch filled the venue. Then the husky soulful voice followed.  
“How did I let this happen?  
The truth is it did.  
We were so wrapped up in the fighting  
That we didn’t see it end.  
I let myself fall even if you didn’t let me in.  
The lines are crossed   
And I’m already here.  
So what’s the point in fighting what’s already  
Been.”  
Tears began to well up in my eyes, I was unable to focus the camera on him. My hand covered my mouth trying to keep the cries at bay. Was this about me? I couldn’t focus on the words of the song anymore as the crowd erupted again once he finished the song.  
“And yes, that was a song for someone special, I just hope she heard it,” he announced and I could tell he was scanning the audience. I turned to leave the stage bumping directly into Jared.  
“I can’t,” I muttered pushing past him. I felt like I had been set up. I ran from the backstage area as fast as I could. I couldn’t let myself fall. Love was not in the equation for my life.


	11. Chapter 11

I wasn’t sure where I was going in my life after those few weeks with Jensen. I know I felt lost and almost like an empty shell. I hadn’t heard anything from neither him nor Jared since I stormed out of the concert venue. I’m sure he hated me. And that was okay. Jensen hating me was easier than letting him think he cared about me.  
I hadn’t even finished looking at all the photos I had taken, and I knew I would have to soon. Even if it pained me. Eventually Jared would contact me for them. He had after all paid me to do them. It was only fair that I give him the product. That was the call I wasn’t looking forward to. So instead of letting him call me I called him.  
“Hey,” I greeted as professional as I could considering the circumstances.  
“Hey,” he returned with a somewhat surprised tone.  
“I have the prints and the proofs if you are still interested in them,” I informed him.  
“Oh yeah thanks,” shock still in his voice.  
“I know things didn’t go the way you had planned but you hired me to do a job and I finished it,” I said sighing.  
“No its okay, thank you I appreciate it,” Jared told me.   
“So I’ll just send them over?” I asked unsure of how to go about delivering the images.  
“Um actually I’ll just have someone come pick them up,” Jared insisted. Great Jared hated me too.  
“Oh okay, that’s fine,” I tried to sound convincing but I knew I was failing miserably at it.  
“Great, are you at a hotel or?” Jared question.  
“Oh no I’m at my apartment, I’m packing for another tour,” I announced as I looked around the trashed room. “I’m leaving in a few days if you want the photos before I go,” I told him.  
“Oh okay I can send someone over tomorrow,” he assured me.  
“That’s perfect I’m sending you my address,” I informed him texting him my information.

When the knock came on the door the next day I was sitting at my laptop preparing for my trip with the new band I had taken on.  
“Coming hold on,” I yelled standing up from the couch to answer the heavy door.  
When I opened the door there he stood. His perfect chiseled jaw pointing downward. His hands deep in his black leather jacket, his eyes moving up to look at me before the rest of his face moved. Should have known Jared would send him.  
“Jensen? What?” He moved forward to try to barge in. I tried to slam the door in his face but he pushed forward.  
“Jensen go away,” I demanded.  
“Not until you talk to me,” he grunted against the door. Where was all this damn upper body strength coming from?  
“Why?” I gasped pushing with all my might against the door.  
“Cause you are going to tell me what the hell happened between us,” he insisted.  
I grunted giving in as I let him inside.  
“I’m not talking to you,” I stated as I walked toward where I had laid his pictures.  
“Why? What did I do? Was I not good enough? Was it that horrific?” he was genuinely considered.  
“No,” I simply stated.  
“Then what the hell happened? What did I miss? Cause I had a helluva good time,” he assured me.  
“Jensen this has nothing to do with you or your skills. If anything you’re too good for me.”  
“Don’t give me it’s not you it’s me bullshit, I want a real reason. Do you have a boyfriend I don’t know about? Did you cheat on him or something?”  
“No, it’s nothing like that,” I assured him.  
“Then I give up, what the hell happened between us that was so bad? Cause I have been trying to figure it out and I can’t. I enjoyed the weeks we spent together, I liked hanging out with you and talking to you. I liked you seeing my life outside of the everyday shit I live. And I don’t regret any of it. And I sure as hell don’t regret the last night we had together.”  
I felt defeated as he spoke. I didn’t know what to say or how to react.  
“You were never supposed to happen Jensen sleeping with you, none of it. You were supposed to be a job that was it. Hell a job I didn’t even really wanna take on,”  
“And you think you were supposed to happen to me? Hell no. I didn’t wanna do some cheesy photo op campaign to try and fix my image.”  
“We crossed a line.” I reminded him.  
“And you don’t work for me anymore,” Jensen pointed out. “So no more lines to cross.” There was a hunger in those emerald green eyes I had only seen once before, as he approached me pinning my back to the wall. Before I could protest, his mouth took mine possessing it as if it were his. My hands running through his short brown hair accepting the kiss with just as much passion. I wanted nothing more than him to take me again, and I don’t know how I resisted but I pushed him away.  
“I can’t,” I stated. When he pulled away from me the hunger still filled his eyes.  
“We can’t do this,” I reiterated.  
“Why?” Jensen questioned. A good question, one I didn’t have an intelligent answer for.  
“We just can’t,” he stared at me trying to read my expressions.  
“I was offered a permanent position with the band,” I blurted out. “If I take it I’ll be leaving for San Diego after the tour.”  
“You can’t,” he pleaded.  
“I can’t and I will if I feel like it’s what I want,” I told him sternly.  
“You’re scared. You are. Well you know what? So am I. But at least I’m not a coward. At least I have the courage to look at myself in the mirror and admit I love you,” he shouted.  
I swallowed back the anger almost offended. “You need to leave,” I told him through a cracking voice. I wasn’t sure if I was hurt or angry. “Take your prints and leave. NOW!” I ordered shoving the pictures and proofs into his arms.  
“Fine but there’s only one I want,” he dug through all the photos scattering them about finding the one he wanted and hoisting it under my nose to show me. It was the picture he had taken of me at the ranch while I sang and he played with my camera. I hadn’t even realized it was something he had done. I tried to hold the tears at bay but the next words he spoke cut, and they cut deep.  
“This, this is the girl I need. The girl with that fire. You, I don’t even know who you are,” and he stormed out of the apartment slamming the front door. I shuddered at the sound as the tears slid down my cheeks.  
I gazed around at the mess in front of me. Photos littered my floor as if they had become new tile. One of the first photos I took of his profile with him smiling stopped me. I picked it up staring at it. What right did he have? I wanted to crumble the photos up and throw them all away. But amongst the tears with blurry eyes I picked them all up one by one neatly. I was never going to see him again and it was my fault. He was right I was a coward.


	12. Chapter 12

Months drifted by with no word. I don’t know what I expected. Did I really expect him to message me, or call me and beg me to be reasonable? I mean that’s how it happened in the movies. But alas it wasn’t a movie. Nothing was. I was hurting and I was an idiot. My pride would never let me give in and call nor would it let me cave and give up what I had already said.  
In the midst of it all, I am ashamed to say, I did look at most of his social media sites. I couldn’t pin point why I was so eager to keep tabs on him when I had made it so clear to myself that he was something I didn’t need in my life. That was something I had to remember.  
My last leg of the tour was approaching and the desire to go back home was growing fast. I couldn’t remember a time I was so eager to get back home to my tiny studio apartment and veg out. Work was something I always drowned myself in, but lately I found myself just drifting along. I dug deep trying to get through the last little bit of the tour smiling at the bands I was photographing and joking at the most appropriate times. But once home it wasn’t all that welcoming.  
My apartment seemed tiny and empty. The walls, which at one time seemed so inviting seemed to close in on me. I sighed as I dropped my belongings heavily onto the floor. I wasn’t sure why I still had the pile of pics sitting on my coffee table. I sighed glancing in their direction.  
“You have to let go,” I told myself as I casually picked up the photos. I held them above my trash can wanting to let go, but as I stood there I couldn’t bring myself to drop them into the waste basket. I stood debating when I heard my home computer ping. I sighed putting the photos down on the counter top.  
“An email from Gen?” I questioned as I saw the name pop up on my desktop screen. Several of them. My eye brows narrowed forward as I opened the last email, the most recent.  
“I know it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. I hope all is well for you. I know you don’t normally do photos that aren’t band related, but Jared and I were discussing photographers and thought of you. You are the best at your profession. If you are interested please let me know. –Gen”  
“Why would Gen need photographs?” I pondered as I reached for my cell to call her. After a few rings she picked up.  
“Yay you called back,” she cried.  
“Hey sorry I just got home from tour. I don’t normally read my emails. Why didn’t you just text me?” I almost chuckled it was nice to hear from her.  
“Sorry I didn’t know if you had our number still,” she answered honestly.  
“So what did you need photos of?” I asked my curiosity piqued.   
“Well we were wondering if you would take some maternity photos,” and I could tell she was smiling.  
“You guys are having another baby?!” I shrieked excited for them, and part of me excited for Jensen to have another nephew or maybe even a niece to spoil.  
“Yes, and we want you take pictures of the gender reveal party,” she explained.  
“Sure, I’d be kinda honored actually,” I admitted.  
“Yes, thank you so much. Um the party is Saturday,” she informed me as I tried to jot down the address and time.  
“Sure sounds good.” Then it dawned on me Jensen might be there.  
“Oh don’t worry I’ll make sure Jensen doesn’t know you are there, you’re a ninja you can hide,” she teased.  
“Oh yeah. Thanks,” I murmured. Maybe I shouldn’t take this job. I bit my lower lip as she hung up. Instant regret and kicking myself in the ass set in.  
“Dammit,” I cursed. What did I just get myself into?

I tried to think of every excuse I could to get out of doing the job. But all of them sounded weak and unprofessional. And I strived to be as professional as possible. Except for that whole episode of sleeping with Jensen I had maintained that professionalism.  
I took in a deep breath as I drove my jet black charger down a similar dirt road I had been down before. Now I realized why the address sounded so familiar.  
“Shit, the ranch,” I growled. “Please be on tour,” I whispered as I pulled up behind an unfamiliar car. My anxiety was rising as I stepped out of the car to see Gen waving at me. I waved back as I approached the front porch greeted by a huge hug.  
“Come on,” she insisted. Kids were scattered everywhere playing indoors and out. It was really hard to say where Jensen would be found with all of them running around. Maybe I’d get lucky. Stay out of sight I repeated to myself internally taking a deep breath as I began to take random pictures. I was there mainly for the big announcement.  
“Okay guys can I have your attention!” Gen called to everyone. I faded into the background as best as I could as guests began to gather outside. I smiled as I watched Gen and Jared gather around each other.   
“If you guys could turn your attention to the two little gentlemen in front of you with the water guns they will let you know what we are having.” Gen nodded to Tom and Shep who started shooting water guns at each other. Their shirts began to turn pink. Shouts began to erupt and people began to congratulate them all on the expansion of their family.  
Now came my turn as I took Gen and Jared off to take candid photos. Gen stood holding her stomach as Jared kissed her swollen stomach, with a chalk board sitting beside them.  
“Princess Padalecki arriving spring 2017,” I smiled as I took more shots of the adoring parents. I took some of the boys in their shirts with a sign that said Big brothers of a little sister watch out. Gen changed them and I took more photos of the whole family. Something changed in the air as Gen stopped us.  
“Umm we can finish up in a few minutes is that okay?” she asked.   
“Yeah,” I assured. I was suddenly mugged by children who took me off with bubbles. I stood in the grass blowing bubbles and capturing the children dancing to catch them.

His heart caught in his chest as he watched her play with the children in the yard. She stood out like a sore thumb with her red and black plaid tunic and skinny jeans, and her signature black chuck taylor converse. What was Gen thinking inviting her?  
Clenching his jaw he approached his sister. “What are you doing?” he asked.  
“Go talk to her,” she ordered. Jensen let out a throaty growl angry at his little sister.

“You know the 90s called, they want their flannel back,” a voice whispered in my ear startling me. I jumped seeing Jensen standing there.  
“Hey boys why don’t you take the kids inside I think your mommy is getting ready to feed everyone,” Jensen told the boys. Without much fight the boys took off running with the rest of the kids.  
“You look good,” I admitted.  
“You do too,” a heat of pink rose to my cheeks.  
“Was gonna ask where the pink was, but there it is,” he joked.  
“Umm,” I began.  
“Look I need to apologize for what I said, I don’t regret saying it, I just I wish I hadn’t ended it the way I did.”  
“That’s some apology,” I spoke with seriousness as I crossed my arms.  
“Look accept it don’t, doesn’t really make a difference does it? Here,” he handed me a silver box.  
“What is this?” I questioned unsure I wanted to know.  
“I know how much you love gifts,” he stated with sarcasm. “Just open it, it’s kind of my way saying sorry I was a jerk,”  
“But you aren’t sorry,” I reminded him.  
“Right,” He smirked as I began to open the gift.  
Inside was a silver necklace with two charms, a camera and a music note.  
“Two of your favorite things,”  
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. I gasped as I looked at it.  
“Thank you,” I breathed.  
“Maybe you can think of us sometimes and not worry about any lines we crossed,” he jabbed as he turned to leave.  
“You were right,” I called to him as I looked at the charms. “You were right. I was scared. Still am,” Jensen paused in his tracks listening.  
“Doesn’t matter now,” he told me as he began to walk away again.  
“I love you!” I called causing him to stop in his tracks again. “I love you and I know that I messed up letting you go and that I’ve missed my chance. But I do. And you were right. I spent a lot of time on tour thinking, and what does it matter if I’m alone. When all I want is you.”  
“What did you say?” Jensen asked.  
“Did you really not hear any of that?” I began to grow angry.  
“No that first part what did you say?” He turned to face me.  
“I love you.” I repeated.  
“That’s all I needed to hear,” he whispered as he clasped his hands gently on my face and kissed me. You know those kisses in movies where it stops the world around you and the universe aligns. That one perfect kiss that makes everything okay? That was this kiss. It made the world catch fire. It was a kiss of passion that wasn’t just a kiss of lust but a kiss of everything that envelopes love. The perfect part was it was all ours, not a single soul saw this perfect moment and that made it even more perfect for me.


End file.
